Lagos Traffic Chronicles – Can You Relate?


           “Where is my car key? Oh no, not this morning!” I muttered to myself in anger as I kept scattering my bookshelf. Where did I drop this key? I started to recount my movement from last night, I came in with a book in my hands, I returned “The book Thief” back to the shelf, and? Damn! That was all I remembered before going to sleep. Where else did I go? I’m sure you can relate to this madness when you’re in search of something urgently.

I was so heated up despite the fully air-conditioned living room. Beads of Sweat already breaking out on my forehead, with time they’ll be flowing down my face. “Oh God, where could I have kept it?” I stood in the centre of my living room looking around, my eyes trying to spot a place I’ve not searched yet, then my eyes darted to my wall cock, it was clocking 5.20 am already!

“Yeh, I’m in big trouble today” I shouted placing my hand on my head. The sound of my phone ringtone jolted my heartbeat for a second. How I wish one could flash a key. That must be Jude, my colleague. I usually pick him at the bus stop two streets away from mine at 5.00 am prompt.

He probably must have called earlier as I had been busy key hunting in several places, I rushed to pick the phone.

           “Hello Jude” “honestly you won’t believe what is going on right now” “I can’t find my car keys!!!”

I believe you can detect his questions from my answer. And just as I looked at the bag I dropped on the chair earlier, I saw the car key holder dangling down.

           “I found it, I’ve seen it” I screamed into the phone. Jumping and picking the keys immediately. I told him where I had seen it and he was confused as to how I didn’t check there earlier. I responded.

           “I did, I threw everything in my bag out, I don’t know how I skipped it.”

I packed my bag properly as I kept talking to Jude who was laughing at me at the same time making me realise the kind of traffic I was going to face, as he was on his way already in a commercial vehicle.

Mentally I did a check of everything that was meant to be in my bag, and something was missing again! Was this day meant for the devil or what?

           “Oh no! Not again this morning” I said exasperated.

           “What is it again?” he asked.

           “I can’t find my phone. I was charging it this morning, I picked the charger and I don’t know where I dropped the phone now” I was in total distress you should have seen my face, as I did another scattering of handbag again.

Yea! Yea! Laugh at me all you want. But that’s what happens to a working-class lady who lives in Lagos and has a phobia for traffic. To leave my house even 5 minutes past 5.00 am is a very costly mistake, now I’m leaving the house at 5.30 am. A horror movie is about to begin.

A movie you don’t want to know the end. But I can’t be the only one to have gone through this torture, especially if you live in Lagos. Please share your traffic chronicles with me.

2 Responses
  • Mo
    May 3, 2020

    My favorite, the writer did a great job with the discriptive, I want more, so sad some people go through this almost every day, Cathy headlines

    • Tife Adetemi
      May 13, 2020

      Yea really sad. Thanks for your compliments Mo, do you have an interesting experience on Lagos life and Traffic? Please kindly share with us.

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