Comparison is a thief of destiny, an analogy you should read.
I understand we are accustomed to the statement “Comparison is the thief of Joy” But kindly read this analogy that makes me think comparison, is not only a thief of joy but destiny.
Some days back I was gisting with an older friend who has two male kids. We were talking about incentives for kids to be better at what they do, and I was speaking bitterly about how my father was a fan of comparing me with other children he has never met when I was younger, just for me to do better in my grades at school.
Surprisingly, this friend of mine supported my father’s perspective. He further added that the best way to motivate a child is to create competition thereby inciting a competitive spirit for the child to do better which in the long run, pushes him/her to become the best at what they do.
I had so many mixed feelings about this, because in my opinion;
- Every child is unique in their ways, comparison, breaks the spirit of a child, just like it did for me.
- Comparison leads to unhealthy competition, the child will be so focused on the other person ahead of him that he ignores or never realises his strength.
- Comparison can form a foundation in the life of a child that as he grows, he’ll keep being focused on another person’s journey and will find it hard to be satisfied with his journey or pace in life. Worse, he may never realise his true self.
These were my arguments to his statements in clear terms. Although he did not state his opposing notion clearly, from all he said I could deduce these:
- It will make the child become the best at whatever he chooses to do in life
- He would not become mediocre.
Fair point, I must say, looking at it from that angle. And this leads me to the question:
Is it okay to encourage competitive spirits amongst kids, will it not breed a space for envy and jealousy in their hearts?
Is there a better way to sensitise children to do better without being compared with another?
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